#they are all such dumb bitches

[trophywifemac]

IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA ☘ ↳ S11E08 “Charlie Catches a Leprechaun”

[wombywoo]

check-up 🤕

[grezzirossi]

My Bg3 Party with the cutest barbarian and 3 pathetic guys.

[xochimillilili]

Really been thinking about breeding my puppy for hours on end recently like genuinely. Wanna feel his cunt throbbing around my cock as I pump him full, breed a litter into him while kissing and raking my nails along his hips, feel his hands in my hair and legs around my waist.

Imagining how pretty he'd look fucked out and face down in bed afterwards, all nestled in between a nest of our blankets while I softly praise and kiss his thighs and ass, fixing his hair outta his eyes n rubbing his lil puppy hips as I tell him what a good boy he was for me.

Fucking a plug into him, so his cunt and pretty tummy stay nice and full of my cum, though not before softly yet teasingly kissing and licking up the cum that's stuck to his throbbing clit.

That's my baby, such a good baby pup for me sweetie~ Such a good puppy for daddy, shhh shh, just rest for now little one. You've gotta rest for now, you know I need to fuck another litter into you soon, just relax and let me rub and pet your pretty tummy sweetie, feels so good to be full of your dad's pups doesn't it my love?

[ghost-proofbaby]

can y'all please come into my humble abode and imagine something with me i don't yet have the wits to write a full fledged fic out of (yet)?

so, everyone knows how when you get a tattoo, part of the healing process is the itchy phase, right? and for obvious reasons, you can't scratch it. favored method, in my experience and fellow tatted friends, is to just give it a good old slap.

perfect. so now, with this in mind, can you imagine having gotten a large hip/ass piece, and how mortifying it would be to smack your own ass to soothe that itch? and it's just plain painful. you want your new ink to heal properly - it's gorgeous and you put a lot of time, pain, and money into that damn thing - but it just sucks.

enter best friend eddie.

he loves your new ink. thinks it's fucking sick. nearly creamed his damn pants when he found out you were doing a hip/ass tatt (because how can he ask to see it without being weird? how can he react to that without being weird when he's spent the last several years with the world's most pathetic crush on you?) at first, it's fine. you show him the tattoo in a totally friendly, totally platonic way. he hypes you up, he calls you 'the most metal person he knows'. flourishes you with all the compliments and looks at you with starry eyes out of sheer awe at the way he's managed to snag a person into his life who is just so. damn. cool.

but the days pass by, that new ink begins to heal, and it fucking itches.

when you first proposition him, you're even more embarrassed than he is. stumbling over all your words, the request coming out contorted every wrong way. you don't want to make things weird, but is it really that weird for a friend to help a friend? it is really that weird to ask your best friend to smack your tattoo to help with that itch you can't even really properly reach?

it's just friends helping friends.

and that's the mantra you both repeat to yourselves - as you request the embarrassing favor of him, as he agrees almost too eagerly, as you find yourself face-planted in your bed wondering how deeply you can bury down your shame as he tries to make jokes to make it all a bit less awkward.

it's just friends helping friends, until eddie's hand lands down on your ass with a resounding smack, and that first little whimper escapes your lips.

[daenerys-targaryns]

“at least he FOUGHT in the war what did ur queen do hm sit on her ass and eat cake 🤓👆” buddy boy your king was turned into applebee’s barbecue in his very first battle and spent over a year high on the medieval equivalent of opioids only to be ambushed in his second battle and lose to a thirteen year old little girl on her equally baby dragon i wouldn’t be talking shit if i were you

[lesovyart]

((shows up to Willow 2 yrs late)) I LOVE THEM

[map-of-obsessions]

Npmd trailer: Richard Lipschitz has been murdered

Scene 1: Richard Lipschitz has been murdered

Richie's literal first line: I'm dead

Me, somehow:

[cedric-k-rossignol]

Ciel & Sebastian + une gifle

[ef-1]

If I think about the double standard and the disparity with which the media handled Daniel in comparison to everyone else I may lose my mind.

[telesilla]

Not gonna go out on this limb on a 25k post, but maybe it’s okay that kids today don’t know as much about using an actual computer as we do/did? Is it useful knowledge? Of course it is. So is using a sewing machine or being able to rebuild your VW with a copy of that one book every VW driver used to have. That’s not the right question—most practical knowledge is useful after all. The question should be “is it relevant to the way people live right now.” “How to Keep Your VW Alive” is a timeless fucking classic; my ex and I kept our copy long after he sold his VW. But I’m not buying a copy now because it won’t exactly help me keep my VW ID4 on the road.

And it’s funny, because I tend to read along with those posts and nod my head, because back in my day we HAD to know all that computer stuff. And then for some reason today, I remembered a conversation my mom and I had with my grandma in the mid 70s when I was a teenager. Grandma made my mom’s wedding dress. She worked at a department store doing alterations on foundation wear, which if you look at 1950s foundation wear, you’ll realize was both necessary and difficult. So she was shocked when I said most of my friends didn’t know their way around a sewing machine. “But how do you make sure your clothes fit?!” Well, Grandma, people don’t wear heavy foundation wear any more and clothes don’t need to be as tailored as they did back in the day—it’s 1975 and the only alterations I need to do is hemming my flares so they just touch the floor when I’m wearing platforms.

Now you can back up and look at the broader picture, the one that says, but your car should be repairable by you as long as you have clear instructions, and you should be able to alter your clothes or make your own, and yes, you should know how to organize the files on the desktop of your laptop. But the fact that for the most part it’s become easier and easier to just not do those things (if they can be done at all) isn’t exactly the fault of Kids Today. And it’s certainly not meeting them where they are or even trying to understand why they feel they don’t need that knowledge if, instead of looking at why they don’t have it and maybe even don’t need it, you just decry their lack of the Deep Wisdom.

[aurantiumred]

constantly torn between writing jason baring his teeth, yipping, growling, and wiggling in his sleep and waking up the second he hears his name OR sleeping perfectly still, barely breathing, and not waking up for ANYTHING at all. he could get stabbed and mans would not wake up until 5:30. when he falls asleep he stays asleep.

alternatively, he stays up for 5 days straight on various night watches until he deems a place safe and then sleeps for 16 hours.

[xochimillilili]

Yeah it's nice to be all physically soft and gentle with my pretty pet after a long day, but there's something so nice about speaking softly while hurting their cute little body~

I've got you honey, that's it, you're doing so good~ You're such a cute little painslut aren't you my love? Moaning and whining for more like a good dumb little pup while bent over my knee, hilt of my knife stuffed shallowly in your pretty breeding hole... you like the feeling of my belt bruising up your pretty ass? You like the sting of it hitting your sensitive little aching body, my kisses on your head and my fingers in your drooling little puppy mouth, fucking that pretty throat of yours sweetheart?

Good puppyyy~ Taking every hit on your ass and kiss on your head like a good pet. My precious darling baby, I'll get you aching so much you'll just melt into a whiny pretty mess after. I'm so proud of you babyyy, if you keep being a good little slut for me, I might just slice those undies off you properly and fuck that pretty tummy of yours full of pups honey~

[yashley]

"I’m gonna send a message to Fearne."

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

anytime Johnny gets a scheme in his head the others push it SO hard bc the thing is if it was JOHNNYS idea darry can't be mad about it <3

[beatcroc]

sonic scribbles of varying ages and intents. surge from mid 2022 when i was first catchin' up on idw, silver from a few months ago when i was trying to figure him out, the rest from late 2022 from memory with stylization and redesigning where i couldn't be assed to try and stay on-model