#they are all such dumb bitches

[trophywifemac]

IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA ☘ ↳ S11E08 “Charlie Catches a Leprechaun”

[wombywoo]

check-up 🤕

[grezzirossi]

My Bg3 Party with the cutest barbarian and 3 pathetic guys.

[xochimillilili]

Yeah it's nice to be all physically soft and gentle with my pretty pet after a long day, but there's something so nice about speaking softly while hurting their cute little body~

I've got you honey, that's it, you're doing so good~ You're such a cute little painslut aren't you my love? Moaning and whining for more like a good dumb little pup while bent over my knee, hilt of my knife stuffed shallowly in your pretty breeding hole... you like the feeling of my belt bruising up your pretty ass? You like the sting of it hitting your sensitive little aching body, my kisses on your head and my fingers in your drooling little puppy mouth, fucking that pretty throat of yours sweetheart?

Good puppyyy~ Taking every hit on your ass and kiss on your head like a good pet. My precious darling baby, I'll get you aching so much you'll just melt into a whiny pretty mess after. I'm so proud of you babyyy, if you keep being a good little slut for me, I might just slice those undies off you properly and fuck that pretty tummy of yours full of pups honey~

[payidaresque]

so it was more than just the accent, wasn't it?

"not all of it", and he was looking at her the exact same way

[ghost-proofbaby]

can y'all please come into my humble abode and imagine something with me i don't yet have the wits to write a full fledged fic out of (yet)?

so, everyone knows how when you get a tattoo, part of the healing process is the itchy phase, right? and for obvious reasons, you can't scratch it. favored method, in my experience and fellow tatted friends, is to just give it a good old slap.

perfect. so now, with this in mind, can you imagine having gotten a large hip/ass piece, and how mortifying it would be to smack your own ass to soothe that itch? and it's just plain painful. you want your new ink to heal properly - it's gorgeous and you put a lot of time, pain, and money into that damn thing - but it just sucks.

enter best friend eddie.

he loves your new ink. thinks it's fucking sick. nearly creamed his damn pants when he found out you were doing a hip/ass tatt (because how can he ask to see it without being weird? how can he react to that without being weird when he's spent the last several years with the world's most pathetic crush on you?) at first, it's fine. you show him the tattoo in a totally friendly, totally platonic way. he hypes you up, he calls you 'the most metal person he knows'. flourishes you with all the compliments and looks at you with starry eyes out of sheer awe at the way he's managed to snag a person into his life who is just so. damn. cool.

but the days pass by, that new ink begins to heal, and it fucking itches.

when you first proposition him, you're even more embarrassed than he is. stumbling over all your words, the request coming out contorted every wrong way. you don't want to make things weird, but is it really that weird for a friend to help a friend? it is really that weird to ask your best friend to smack your tattoo to help with that itch you can't even really properly reach?

it's just friends helping friends.

and that's the mantra you both repeat to yourselves - as you request the embarrassing favor of him, as he agrees almost too eagerly, as you find yourself face-planted in your bed wondering how deeply you can bury down your shame as he tries to make jokes to make it all a bit less awkward.

it's just friends helping friends, until eddie's hand lands down on your ass with a resounding smack, and that first little whimper escapes your lips.

[brethilach]

"ohh thorin trusts Bilbo above his own family and kin because he just loves him sooo much because I think romantic love is superior to any other form of love" or maybe it was he was experiencing a severe episode of paranoid psychosis and he implicitly trusted Bilbo because he was the only person in the Company who didn't have any preexisting, longstanding loyalities to him (as a King or brother-in-arms or Family or otherwise) and followed him purely out his own desire to and he saw Bilbo stay by his side even after his contract had ended even though he knew how much he wanted to go home (and had every reason to at that point). maybe it was because he knew Bilbo would had nothing to gain by betraying him (re: no birthright to the crown, no desire for riches or property, etc). Maybe he believed he could confide into Bilbo because he felt like he wasn't responsible for his safety in the same way he felt responsible for his nephews or his kin (as their King), and he no longer need to mantain any sort of formalities or barriers with him (because Thorin is not. his. King).

sorry I just refuse to believe Thorin doesn't love his nephews as much as he loves Bilbo (someone who he'd only known for 6~ months at that point) and I think there's a lot of better ways to explain his behavior here

[daeneryseastar]

“at least he FOUGHT in the war what did ur queen do hm sit on her ass and eat cake 🤓👆” buddy boy your king was turned into applebee’s barbecue in his very first battle and spent over a year high on the medieval equivalent of opioids only to be ambushed in his second battle and lose to a thirteen year old little girl on her equally baby dragon i wouldn’t be talking shit if i were you

[lesovyart]

((shows up to Willow 2 yrs late)) I LOVE THEM

[map-of-obsessions]

Npmd trailer: Richard Lipschitz has been murdered

Scene 1: Richard Lipschitz has been murdered

Richie's literal first line: I'm dead

Me, somehow:

[ef-1]

If I think about the double standard and the disparity with which the media handled Daniel in comparison to everyone else I may lose my mind.

[telesilla]

Not gonna go out on this limb on a 25k post, but maybe it’s okay that kids today don’t know as much about using an actual computer as we do/did? Is it useful knowledge? Of course it is. So is using a sewing machine or being able to rebuild your VW with a copy of that one book every VW driver used to have. That’s not the right question—most practical knowledge is useful after all. The question should be “is it relevant to the way people live right now.” “How to Keep Your VW Alive” is a timeless fucking classic; my ex and I kept our copy long after he sold his VW. But I’m not buying a copy now because it won’t exactly help me keep my VW ID4 on the road.

And it’s funny, because I tend to read along with those posts and nod my head, because back in my day we HAD to know all that computer stuff. And then for some reason today, I remembered a conversation my mom and I had with my grandma in the mid 70s when I was a teenager. Grandma made my mom’s wedding dress. She worked at a department store doing alterations on foundation wear, which if you look at 1950s foundation wear, you’ll realize was both necessary and difficult. So she was shocked when I said most of my friends didn’t know their way around a sewing machine. “But how do you make sure your clothes fit?!” Well, Grandma, people don’t wear heavy foundation wear any more and clothes don’t need to be as tailored as they did back in the day—it’s 1975 and the only alterations I need to do is hemming my flares so they just touch the floor when I’m wearing platforms.

Now you can back up and look at the broader picture, the one that says, but your car should be repairable by you as long as you have clear instructions, and you should be able to alter your clothes or make your own, and yes, you should know how to organize the files on the desktop of your laptop. But the fact that for the most part it’s become easier and easier to just not do those things (if they can be done at all) isn’t exactly the fault of Kids Today. And it’s certainly not meeting them where they are or even trying to understand why they feel they don’t need that knowledge if, instead of looking at why they don’t have it and maybe even don’t need it, you just decry their lack of the Deep Wisdom.

[yashley]

"I’m gonna send a message to Fearne."

[yuridovewing]

genuinely embarrassing how blossomfall gets more fandom sympathy than breezepelt. “boohoo my sister is disabled and my mommy is emotionally abusing her paying more attention to her than me and i hate my stupid ass sister for getting herself disabled and wish she died. also im a grown ass woman.” vs “my dad hit and neglected me as a child and isolated me from my clanmates and it left me maladjusted and seeking validation from terrible sources and its implied hes like this because he’s drooling after the one that got away” like how is this not cut and dry. you cant even soak in the shitty “well breezepelt was a shitty kid” excuse because blossomfall was also shitty before and after the incident. tbh, id argue she’s shittier because breezepelt actually did change his behavior while blossomfall is just as bigoted as ever.

[agirlking]

The Veilguard subreddit has not heard of critical thinking or expecting quality out of something you pay for. It is insane over there. "It's not bad at all! GoTY!" Holy shit.

Btw this post isn’t for anti Solavellan people. Stop blaming us for liking a ship and acting like that made DA4 what it is. BioWare has been on a downward spiral for a long time, the game was in development hell, and many people were fired. The fans mindlessly giving them money right now (who are NOT only Solavellans) are contributing to future issues by giving them a pass, but even they didn’t create these problems.

[parhelionz]

this is dumb